World Cup 2010: The Fabulous Fabio Capello!

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Fabio Capello is absolutely right when he says England “played well” in the 4-1 thrashing by Germany. Capello is right because if England had not played well they would have been kicked out of the 2010 World Cup by a much bigger margin; say 20-1 – After all, England were minnows of football world till the fabulous Fabio Capello so kindly took over the reins and turned us into a superpower. He braved the ever so unpredictable weather of England for a paltry annual fee of £6 million sacrificing the comforts of living in his favourite Italy. The lousy English weather must have put him a little bit under the weather, affected his judgment a little bit and clouded his thinking, you might think, after you saw the England-Germany encounter.  If you question his team selection and  rubbish his game plan; it just shows your ignorance of Fabio’s fantastic plan for the future of English football in general and 2014 World Cup in Brazil in particular.  What a match it was!  What fabulous foresight and what great execution of the first part of the bigger plan. Thank you Fabio Capello, for saving the honour of the English. Without your guidance we could not have “played well’ and would have been completely humiliated. Thank you God for giving us the one and only Fabio.

England defence was not just disorganised, you might think, “it was non-existent,” you might comment. So it seemed to the untrained eye of the ordinary fan or pundit. Thanks to the fabulous foresight of the fantastic Fabio Capello and his mind blowing strategy, the England defence was so cleverly camouflaged that everyone failed to notice it.  Capello cleverly used it instead, to score the all important goal for England. If he had not planned Upson to be strongly entrenched in the German 16 yard box, who would have scored the only goal for England?  England can now go back with their head held in the knowledge that even their defence is capable of scoring goals. You can imagine if our defence can do that what wonders can our strikers perform when the fabulous Fabio Capello decides to take them along to the World Cup in Brazil or remembers to get them off the bench and on to the field. Do you understand the strategy now?  It is as clear as day why Peter Crouch was never got to play in this World Cup which can only be considered to be a warm up for 2014. The Fabulous one did not want to risk injury to his tallest player ahead of the Brazil World Cup. What phenomenal foresight.

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The fabulous gains

The Fabulous Fabio knows how to build National teams. You just have to read his CV to realize that. He knows it is not easy. He knows it takes time; it takes money. Before you win the World Cup you need to instill self esteem, self control, and spirit of self sacrifice into the team. He knows he has achieved all that or else why would he say “England played well”. The fabulous Fabio is no fool. The lessons the team has learnt are that, not only can the England team score a goal but even their defence can do it. This was important for the self esteem of the team. So what if they left their goal undefended? The important thing is the knowledge that their defence can score.  Now it is not beyond comprehension that the next piece of  Fabio’s  strategy is to train his strikers to defend  our goal. But that is a top secret. Can you imagine how baffled the opposition will be when they are chasing our strikers and our defense sneak out and score goals?  Their confusion will be confounded when our strikers pounce on their strikers and defend our goal. But that will be jumping the gun. That is to be in the next World cup. To keep things simple Capello likes to teach one thing at a time.

One major gain of the team is that they learnt the importance of self control. The players now know how to live without their Wives and Girlfriends. The considerate Capello, master mind that he is, planned all along to keep the first stint, of learning to live without WAGs, short and sweet. It has been proven to the world now that the England players can not only survive without WAGS during the tournaments but they also “play well” in their absence.  Frank Lampard nearly spoiled the plan by scoring the equalizer but such was the belief of the fantastic Fabio in the plan that Gods decided to intervene and blinded the referees.   You will have to wait and see; this experience will come handy in Brazil.

The biggest lesson the England team learnt was in the area of self sacrifice and delayed gratification. Fabio has taught the fans and players alike the importance of postponing gratification. What is the point in winning the World Cup if we can’t even appreciate the value of winning that comes only to those who can delay getting what they desire? Fabio the famous one knows very well that most England fans and even pundits cannot appreciate the deep philosophical aspect of delaying the World Cup win till 2014. Frank Lampard is all groggy eyed as he has spent sleepless nights in his effort to comprehend the significance of Fabio’s fabulous philosophy. John Terry has lost his head trying to make head or tail of it. He was seen, in the match, running all over the pitch like a chicken who has just been beheaded. The likes of Wayne Rooney, Joe Cole, Peter Crouch, Ashley Cole and James are wondering what happened. Theo Walcott, Darren Bent, Adam Johnson, Leighton Bains and Scott Parker are at a loss to know if they are missing something.  But he, in his graciousness, the fabulous Fabio Capello is willing to be patient and wait till they all understand and appreciate. That’s why he has said he will not stand down and will continue to be England Coach. There is one silver lining though. Steven Gerrard is in tune with the master and knows what the fabulous one  is doing.  That’s why he wants Fabio Capello to stay, “I’m sure Fabio will stay and he’ll address his own situation very soon,” Gerrard told The Sun. Thank God for small mercies.

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