Archive for October, 2009

Fafa to repel Pepe’s Spell: Cristiano Ronado Safe from Paris Hilton

The identity of the mystery ‘mean’ woman who asked Wizard Pepe to put a wizard1evilcurse on Cristiano Ronaldo has finally been revealed or may be I should say confirmed. Yep.. if you guessed this mystery “jilted lover”, “non-European” and “a very wealthy heiress from a well-known family” eluded to by Wizard Pepe, as Paris Hilton, feel free to do your crazy, silly, happy, woohoo victory dance now.

Paris, who fit the Wizard’s description of his client to the T has obliquely confirmed the suspicions of many to Life & Style magazine’s German edition.

She said “I can’t stand it when someone is mean. I want a man anyway, not someone who runs about like a little girl. He’s a wimp!”

Pepe – the Wizard, had revealed that he had been hired “to do everything possible to prevent Cristiano Ronaldo continuing his career in football” and that he will take his voodoo doll of the player and “stab him in the spine”.

blue wizardWow! she really does sound like a broken-hearted little princess with the touch of evil about her. That is just a horrible thing to say or agree to do. It is even more despicable to ask someone to do it. I can’t imagine anyone even jokingly hoping for a super footballer like Cristiano Ronaldo’s or even a common Cobbie’s career to end. It’s right up their on the meanness scale with killing little puppies! Thank God, this voodoo stuff is rubbish and doesn’t work and in case it does rest assured CR9 and Real Madrid fans, that steps have been taken to ensure Cristiano Ronaldo’s safety. Where there is evil, there is good and so there is Fafa – the Wizard (love his name!) who claims that he has already cast a spell to repel evil Pepe’s spell. Fafa said “I have lit candles next to a picture of Cristiano to put the matter to an end.” Phew!

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Cristiano Ronaldo’s Random Silliness: Cristiano, Girlfriend and Girlfriend!

Okay, now I am worried about Cristiano Ronaldo’s welfare and I am not referring to the hex put on him by Pepe-the Wizard or his silly comments about Barcelona or his current injury or the side-effects of long-term use of bucketfuls of hair gel nor his scary dream of becoming a professional singer!

Rafaella Fico

Raffaella Fico

Cristiano Ronaldo never really dates un-scary women, so I guess no one would be very surprised when I say I am worried about his dating habits. It’s not so much the choice of the woman he is dating (nothing can surprise me on that front!) It’s the fact that he is supposedly dating two women at the same time. The Spanish and Portuguese media have been relentlessly reporting about the Real Madrid striker’s relationship with aspiring actress and a contestant in the Italian version of Big Brother or simply of the sell-her-virginity-online marketing ploy fame, Raffaella Fico. The feisty young brunette, who wanted to use the money for acting lessons and to invest in a new house had been quick to point out that if she didn’t like the guy with the highest bid, she’d just have a glass of wine and forget about it, showing that she definitely is no pushover. So far, so good.

marisa Gomez-Sandoval

Cannon Girl!

However, the ever so committed, hardworking Spanish and Portuguese media are now reporting Spanish model and reality TV participant Marisa Gomez-Sandoval. I can’t begin to imagine how scary handling two very mad, very dramatic reality show stars will be. Also, Marisa has acquired the nickname “chica cañón” … assuming ‘cañón’ means cannon as in a heavy, scary-looking weapon of mass destruction (!!!) and not the camera company, I wouldn’t want to get this girl angry!

So Ronaldo, who is hoping to be fit for the Real Madrid’s match against Milan in the Champions League next week, might just be sporting a black eye or two!

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Cristiano Ronaldo’s Random Silliness: Insults Barcelona

Football has for a long time now been quite a business. Gone are the days when there were no full-time footballers but only regular blokes with regular jobs who on weekends also played  football. Such has been the growth of the sport aided by media that nowadays when you are watching a football game it is usually 22 millionaires on the pitch.  And now, the sport seems be reaching another landmark, Cristiano Ronaldo seems all set to become the world’s second sporting billionaire after Tiger Woods. It is estimated Cristiano will be pocketing around 16,000 pounds a minute! I am going to  save myself the dizziness and not try to figure how much that comes out to in a year. Real Madrid who Ronaldo currently plays for (in case you forgot!)  are considering a series of money-spinning games in the Middle East, with the Portuguese wing wizard as their star attraction.Talk about being scared of getting out of your comfort zone!  Super rich Arab oil barons are willing to pay up to 3 millions pounds a game (!) to Real Madrid to play a series of exhibition matches. Jeez! Why not just fly down to Spain and watch them play for a maximum of  € 500 for the best seats? Anyway, the key to these plans going ahead is Ronaldo’s inclusion in the touring party and it is reported that the 3 million pound fee would be divided 50-50 between the club and Cristiano.

Cristiano thankful and ever so grateful to Real for paying him more than any other footballer on the planet with the chance of becoming a billionaire decided it was time to show his affection for the club. Now, usually the footballing genius would show it on the pitch by demolishing the opposition but since he is injured and recovering, he decided he would do it by insulting his super club’s biggest rivals Barcelona. In a rather dumb comment the love-struck footballer said that if he, hypothetically speaking could take anyone from the treble winners Barcelona’s squad, he wouldn’t sign anyone. I say, good thing you are not a manager Cristy! I can’t imagine anyone in the world who wouldn’t want the likes of Lionel Messi, Andres Iniesta, Thierry Henry or Xavi in their team. Also Cristiano conveniently seems to have forgotten that this team out of which he wouldn’t pick anyone  are currently top of the La Liga table and have dropped only 2 points. I’d give him  full points for the show of commitment to his team and none for coming out looking smart.

It seems Cristiano, the future Armani Underwear model (sorry pops, I mean Becks)  has been very busy practicing his singing for a bank commercial and makes silly comments to the press only in his free time. Lord be praised… or not!

What do you think….Ronaldo for Eurovision? :P

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Tweet not so sweet for Hull City Striker Jozy Altidore

Twitter is free but US football (soccer) player who plays for Hull City found out today, it can be very expensive! Jozy has been fined by his team manager Phil Brown for using twitter. The 19 year old American striker, who is  on loan from Villarreal was left out of the team’s squad in their match against Portsmouth which ended in a 0-0 draw for arriving late at the stadium. He would have otherwise been on the bench but was replaced by Atkinson.

Jozy Altidore feeling miserable for letting his fans down, then tweeted an apology for his fans saying, “Apologize to all of you. I showed up late. Made a big mistake. I am very very sorry.” Aww… to me that is cute, but Phil Brown didn’t see it that way. The Hull City manager was furious as he felt that the reasons for Jozy being left out should have remained private. He said “It’s going to cost him a lot of money, unfortunately. That for me is information that stays in house. The reason he wasn’t on the bench was our business.”

I can understand the manger’s concerns as you wouldn’t want your players to tweet indiscriminately, for sometimes they might let out information which your rivals could use against you on the pitch, like injuries to certain players, training ground scuffles etc. However, this tweet seems so harmless and is adorable. I am sure no fan would mind hearing a player from his team admit that he had made a mistake and realizing his responsibility towards the club and the fans. Phil Brown is probably being a little too cautious. May be its the technology phobia of the not-so-young and he’d probably have felt more kindly towards the whole incident, had Jozy written it in a letter.

Unfortunately for Jozy, he is going to have to part with some serious moolah- the price for tweeting. I fear that this kind of incident might lead to football clubs banning the use of Twitter by players, which would be such a pity ‘coz I love Darren Bent’s tweets.

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The Open Season: Stronger than Ever EPL

barclayspremierleagueIt has been a weekend of quite a few revelations in the English Premier League. The results from Saturday’s and Sunday’s matches really are an eye-opener, showing us just how much the league has changed since its inception and just how different this season is from the seasons in the past. Being in the top 4 is no longer a done deal or a privy of the traditional top four clubs with Aston Villa, Tottenham Hotspur and Manchester City hard on their heels threatening to replace them should they even for a second, take their eye of the ball. Aston Villa quite literally displayed this by scoring off two set pieces in their match against Chelsea.

Unlike past seasons, this season has also seen a lot less draws, which just goes to show that teams are stronger and more confident about being able to take points off of each other and off the Top 4.  Moreover the games in the league are becoming a lot more open and most teams are willing to take some risks to try and win. `Win or lose trying’ seems to be the mantra they’ve come up with after analyzing last years’ results in which Liverpool lost fewer matches than Manchester United and yet ended up second despite having done a double on the then would-be Champions.

There is a newfound confidence in the top half of the table.  West Ham who came back from 2 goals down to draw the match against an Arsenal team in explosive form, goes on to show that more and more teams are beginning to believe that if they take their best game to the top clubs, attack and don’t allow their game to be dictated by the Big 4, they have a very good chance of taking a few points off them. Add to that the fact that the top four are picking points against each other. Manchester United won against Arsenal, Chelsea walked away with all three points in their match against Liverpool and Liverpool beat Manchester United showing that the Top 4 know that a draw against each other just isn’t good enough to guarantee them a top 4 or 5 or six finish in a very competitive premier league season.

Manchester United, Arsenal, Liverpool and Chelsea are going to have to fight for every point. There are just no more easy games for the top teams this season. Tottenham and Aston Villa have improved their squads. Manchester City with the millions they’ve spent in the transfer market are also looking to break into the top four and have quite an impressive squad.

This time, last season, Liverpool were top of the table at 25 points while Portsmouth were seventh and had only 14 points to show. This season, should Manchester City and Aston Villa pick up any points in their games in hand, the gap between the top 7 would be just six points.

This season is probably the most open Premier League season yet, and also the most entertaining. It is a clear indication that the English Premier League has become stronger despite having lost some of its stars to the La Liga and is probably the tightest, toughest, most competitive league in the world.

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Usain Bolt : The Spirit of Sport

Pablo Picasso was destined to be a great painter, Albert Einstein a great physicist, Mozart to write great symphonies. Whenever we look back at the lives of the ‘greats’, we can’t help but think that they were custom built to succeed in what they did succeed in. If you’ve ever watched Roger Federer play, you would have most definitely thought that this man was custom built by God to play Tennis. Every sport has such people, who leave you in awe of their talents and may be in a moment of weakness, make you crib and question God’s equal love to all mankind. I know I have often had those moments when I see Tiger Woods play. My exploits with the golf club are the sort that will probably make it to a ‘compilation of the worst ever: ugliest shots of the game’. Until now, I used what I call the untalented person’s mantra to feel good about themselves, ” Its better to be a jack of all trades in this generation of multitasking and convergence than the master of one”.  This worked perfectly till; the Bolt from Jamaica hit me! Usain Bolt, is there anything this man can’t do? I mean it’s sick how good he is at everything sport. The man can run 100 meters in a record 9.58 seconds (the time it took me to type 9.58!). He also holds the record for the fastest 200 metres run and just to be doubly sure, the second fastest time as well. He and his teammates also hold the 4×100 metres relay. Okay, we all know the man can run!

saincris

He can also however, play football. He claimed to be a fan of Cristiano Ronaldo and Manchester United when he was in England for the 150 metres run.  He joined the United team for practice and met Cristiano Ronaldo (sigh) and gave him sprinting lessons. He went and saw United play live and along the way found time to run the last 100 m of the150metres race in 8.70, the fastest ever recorded time over a 100 m distance. May be he was in too much of a hurry to get to the Manchester United game! Recently, he seems to have changed his allegiance from Manchester United to Real Madrid where he went to see his favourite footballer Cristiano Ronaldo where he was asked who would win between him and Ronaldo in a 100 race metres with a football at their feet. Usain said,” Definitely I think I can do that. I don’t think Cristiano can beat me. I’m the fastest man in the world so I can do that.”

boltgayle

I don’t think Ronaldo would disagree with Bolt. If there is anything related to sport, Bolt can do it just a little better than anyone else. He definitely proved what a sport phenomenon he was when he joined West Indies batsman Chris Gayle and his team consisting of pace bowlers Courtney Walsh and Curtly Ambrose in a mini tournament to raise funds for school sports equipment. Usain Bolt has often said that Cricket is his first love and that if he weren’t a sprinter he would have been a fast bowler but no one I think expected him to not only hit a superb six off the legendary Chris Gayle’s off-spin but also bowl out the former West Indies opening batsman. That is the thing about Bolt despite being perfect; he can still manage to up his game.

What makes Bolt even more extraordinary is that he isn’t merely a player. Anyone, with talent and perseverance and hard work can achieve considerable success as a player. Bolt is a true sportsman who gives a whole lot to charity and promoting sport. He is one of those sportspeople who values good sportsmanship over gamesmanship, which explains why he wants his favourite footballer to stay on his feet more. He epitomises sportsmanship  and it was for all to see when he raced a local child during his visit to a school in Thessaloniki in Greece and let him win. The joy on the little kid’s face says all about the phenomenon that is Usain St. Leo Bolt (Usain St. Joy Bolt!).

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Kop Stars Sparkle : Liverpool Win!

A scintillating performance by Liverpool against Manchester United put Chelsea on top of the table today. Rafael Benitez’s men completely out played the Red Devils who are starting to look more and more like a team that is regretting having let go two big, game-changing players in Cristiano Ronaldo and Carlos Tevez. Liverpool, who had lost their last 4 games and have been in the news for all the wrong reasons, from protests from fans to owner trouble to lack of funds to a weak bench owing to bad dealings in the transfer market to a manager who many thought had lost the plot seemed to have directed all the negative energy, the criticism, the frustration into playing what can only be described as a stunning game.

Steven Gerrard hadn’t recovered and wasn’t in the starting line-up but many Liverpool fans (and Chelsea fans) breathed a sigh relief when they saw Fernando Torres on the team sheet. Mascherano was also in the starting 11 despite having refused signing a new contract with Liverpool this morning and speculation about him possibly moving to Spanish club Barcelona, who have shown interest in the Argentine midfielder. Mascherano said, “I don’t play football for the money. I play for me to win.”

Thankfully, going by how Liverpool played today, I don’t think Mascherano will be going anywhere.

A Liverpool-Manchester United encounter is always feisty but this season it has got even more bite to it because of both the clubs being tied at 18 titles each. And both clubs had very high stakes riding on this match While for Manchester United it meant going top of the table, 2 points clear of Chelsea FC for Liverpool it meant staying in the race for the title. If Liverpool had lost they would have gone 7 points behind the table leaders and it would have been almost impossible to catch up. Manchester United on the other hand wanted revenge from last season when Liverpool had managed to pull a double on them. It was always going to be a great contest and it lived up to all the hype with the better team on the night taking all three points. Yossi Benayoun who had an absolutely brilliant game, passed the ball past Ferdinand to Fernando Torres who scored the first goal for Liverpool in the 67th minute. It was a trademark Torres goal combining power, skill and class. Ngog scored the second for Liverpool in added time and really put the game past United. The game also saw Vidic and Mascherano being sent off. It is becoming quite a habit for both the players whenever their teams meet. Anfield is one of the toughest places to go to and win. Liverpool boasts of having the best fans in the world and it showed today. The fans were a 100 percent behind their team and relentless in their show of support.

Rafael Benitez in his post-match interview said, “The players showed character and the fans were behind the players, we had 12 men. The mentality was good, everyone was working together, plus the ‘keeper (Jose Reina) to the last fan on the Kop. The players answered a lot of questions, that is the most important thing.”

And for a change, Sir Alex also admitted that his team was second best on the night. He said, “Liverpool were the better team and I am not taking anything away from them at all. They deserved to win the game, as it was a disappointing performance from us. We were not good enough. Last season we lost at home 4-1 to Liverpool which was a travesty but we went on to win the league.”

And some things never change…

Sir Alex also said, “We lost out to one or two major decisions. I felt Carrick in the first half was a penalty kick. He [Carragher] has clearly gone over the top of the ball. If it was outside the box, it would have been a free kick. But the controversial one that everyone will be talking about is when he brought Michael Owen down on the edge of the box.

“He is their best defender, so if he goes off at that stage it would be difficult for them. Their fans put the referee under pressure all the time. This atmosphere is hard to handle for a referee. Whether he had enough experience or not, I don’t know, but he will certainly learn from it.”

Ah…well, I guess its one tiny step at a time towards mastering gracious, honest, ‘poor-performance-admitting’, non-blaming, post match speeches for Fergie.

‘When the going gets tough; the tough get going’ -  Liverpool played a passionate, give-all game with no fear and showed everyone that they are a force to reckon with on their day and why underestimating their threat and counting them out of the race would be foolish.

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Liverpool Win-Win Chelsea

Go Liverpool! (Now, don’t leave, I haven’t changed allegiance!) Most true blues right now are rooting for Liverpool. Heck! I bet even Terry and the lads are running on their treadmills while hydrating themselves with their energy drinks (coz that is what they should be doing when the season is on)are cheering on Stevie G and his men. Chelsea did their job last evening with a stunning performance at home against Blackburn Rovers and are top of the table. That is all they could have done, and unfortunately we are in a position where staying top of the table depends on Liverpool really giving United a fight in today’s clash at Anfield.

I am glad we have Liverpool taking on the Red Devils today, because if there is any team, according to me who have the power, desire and a real chance of beating United, it Liverpool. I wouldn’t judge them by their form in the last few matches; in fact, I think it just might work out to Liverpool and our favour. They haven’t tasted success in so long and have been under such tremendous pressure and criticism and we know that they are the stuff champions are made of. They just might use all this anger and frustration to give a real thrashing to Sir Alex’s ‘not-really-in–form’ Manchester United. Manchester United have been scraping through but really didn’t deserve all the points against Bolton and it would have been fair if Sunderland had gotten all 3 points in their match against them.

Of course, Liverpool haven’t really been going great guns either. But for Liverpool it all depends on whether they play their best 11. I think Liverpool have the best starting 11 in the league after Chelsea and when everyone in the team is fit to play, they are capable of beating even the free-flowing Arsenal. The problem for Liverpool starts when one or two of their players are injured, that is when they really struggle because they just haven’t got players good enough to replace the first-teamers. A lot of people call Liverpool a Torres-Stevie show. I think it’s more of a Toress-Stevie G and Mascherano show. They need the midfielder even more now following Alonso’s departure. Mascherano has said recently that he wants to win. I hope Rafa can lead the team to some silverware this season or it would get very tough for Liverpool. The Argentine, I guess will be in the starting line-up today and hopefully, the talk about him not signing a new contract with Liverpool and Barcelona’s immense interest in the midfielder will all be forgotten on the field, atleast for today’s match. If they can have Stevie G, Torres and Javier Mascherano starting they are an incredibly tough team to beat, especially at home where their fans can drive any team to commit Hara-kiri!

So, there is really a very good chance that Liverpool will end up beating United or atleast drawing the match at Anfield today. And you know what that means…. Top of the table baby! ktbffh

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It is great to be Roman Abramovich!

Reasons why its great to be Roman Abramovich, the owner of Chelsea:

Who wouldn’t want to be rich, cute and own a football club? We all know Roman has a fleet of luxury  yachts (are there any other kind?) , beautiful houses, diamonds, paintings, butlers and well, all sorts of stuff! But while its good to be the rich and successful Roman Abramovich, here is why  it’s great to be Roman Abramovich, simply the owner of Chelsea FC.

6. You get to have Stamford the Lion, as your very own pet. Isn’t he the cutest mascot ever?

He furry, he’s cute, he’s cuddly, he dances  and he is not  at all ferocious. Who wouldn’t love such a pet lion? No wonder John Terry always pats Stamford the Lion’s head when the team comes on the pitch.

5. You have your very own Stadium in Stamford Bridge!

If one day Roman got up with the itch to become a rock star, he could invite 42,055 of his friends over, close the exits and sing his heart out.

4. You inherit with the club it’s 50,000 supporters and growing.

Roman from the day he acquired the club (and spent, spent, spent) got himself more than  50,000 people (yep, we don’t come cheap) plus Bryan Adams (the Canadian singer and Chelsea fan) who adore him.

3. You get to hang with Terry and Lampard whenever you feel like it:

A dream come true for any football fan or a female hot footballer stalker!  To be able to meet and talk to his footballing heroes is stuff most football fans dream about and there is no better (or better-looking) defender than JT and no one as talented as Frankie Lampard. Oh and you get the added bonus of hanging with Michael Ballack … he’s just cooool!

2.You get to have the power to bring and then sack Jose Mourinho.

Money makes the world go round baby. And if you own Chelsea FC and your name is Roman Abramovich, you got plenty of dough. This gives you the ultimate power to rule your very own little kingdom, yikes!. I remember being pretty upset when the Special one was sacked (or as the Portuguese manager stressed,  arrived at a mutual decision), but you got to admit, it must have been fun to be able to sack him.

And the no 1. reason why its great to be Roman Abramovich:

Your team gives you the most unique, unmatchable, wonderful birthday gift ever. They win 5-0! Yep, that is what Chelsea did today against Blackburn Rovers and if we’d been a little lucky we would have scored a few more. The team played fabulously with a goal and a penalty from Lampard. Boy, am I glad he scored, because the dry spell in the league seems to be frustrating him . Frankie Lampard relax, your role has changed since Ancelotti’s diamond and everyone in the press who is saying  that you are losing your touch is a buffoon of the highest degree. We see how much you contribute to the game most of the time. ‘Michael-dynamite-Essien’ was also on the score sheet with a superb strike which I am sure Roman loved. Drogba got us the penalty and forced an own goal and also headed one in off a Ballack corner kick. Joe Cole who was back from his 9-month injury was in incredibly good form. I wonder how he managed that, maybe played a lot of  FIFA 10?  It was a sheer pleasure watching him.

All in all, Chelsea were magnificent.  Top of the table, 5 goals, clean sheet, super play… wow! Roman could you tell them your next birthday is on November 8 when we meet Manchester United?

Happy Birthday Roman Abramovich. ktbffh

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Holy Cow! Animal Sacrifice at Football World Cup?

Do you know of anyone else on a national postage stamp, who gets slaughtered?

Do you know of anyone else on a national postage stamp, who gets slaughtered?

FIFA is gaining quite a reputation for taking dreadful decisions. Some of them, like the recent Chelsea transfer ban, leave us indignant, furious and pulling our hair out; while others, like the choice of venue for the Euro 2008, leave us somewhat amused and scratching our heads. I remember being quite confused as to why Switzerland and Austria were chosen to jointly host the Euro 2008. I feel that big football event must take place in a country with footballing prowess and was relieved when South Africa won the bid to host the 2010 World Cup. The event starts in June and as many as 500,000 foreign tourists are expected to land in South Africa for the mouth-watering football fiesta. Another thing super about having the World Cup in South Africa is the great weather (I remember it being unpleasantly cold in Switzerland) and well, the South Africans really know how to party. My bags packed themselves when South Africa was chosen. I have heard its beautiful, modern and fun. Another thing that makes this world cup a little more special is that it has been the dream of the great Nelson Mandela, a huge football fan of the game to bring the World Cup to his country and it’s the first time that the African continent is hosting the event.

According to Mandela, “When you have an important international game being played in a country, you spread the message that South Africa is part of the global world.”

So imagine my horror when I read that South African traditional leaders plan to perform ritual animal slaughters to bless the stadium for the 2010 World Cup tournament.

Zolani Mkiva, chairman of the Makhonya Royal Trust, a group responsible for co-ordinating cultural activities said, that the tournament, the first to be held in Africa, needed to be blessed in true “African style”. “We must have a cultural ceremony of some sort, where we are going to slaughter a beast (cow),” said Mkiva. “We sacrifice the cow for this great achievement and we call on our ancestors to bless, to grace, to ensure that all goes well. It’s all about calling for the divinity to prevail for a fantastic atmosphere.”

There is nothing remotely global about that. I think Nelson Mandela was talking about a certain Zolani Mkiva and people like him when he said,South Africa is now part of the global world, but not everyone in South Africa is aware of this.” I know it is close to Halloween but Mr. Mkiva surely we don’t need it to get this ugly. Switzerland and Austria as football tournament hosts suddenly don’t sound so strange! I truly hope to watch the World Cup like God intended it, with the cows.

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