Sky Sports Germany pokes fun at Spanish football

The Champions League has reached its final stage and the Germans are rejoicing. It’s the first time that two German teams will be facing each other in the final.

So naturally, like a good sport, when you are winning you make fun of the opposition. That’s exactly what Sky Sports Germany has done. In an ad released earlier this month, the sports broadcaster quite literally sticks it to the Spanish.

The ad is set in a bull fighting arena and dramatic music builds up to the mighty bull fighter’s entry. We see only the maestro’s feet but sadly it’s all over before you can even say Vamos.

All our hopes of a handsome, brave, Spaniard are dashed as a fat, mustachioed old man with Bayern and Dortmund flags up his rear end is revealed as the bull fighter.

The video ends with the words “Adios amigos! The way to Wembley.”

One can only wonder how bull fighting fan Sergio Ramos is coping with all this hurt.

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The Suarez saga: Biters of the world unite

mtyson

Birds of a feather flock together. So when Luis Suarez became a twitter celebrity for biting Branislav Ivanonovic, he gained himself a new twitter friend.

This new follower is none other than the world’s most famous professional athlete to have bitten an opponent, Mike Tyson. Tyson reached worldwide ‘biting fame’ when he chewed a chunk off Evander Holyfield’s ear during a match in 1997.

When asked about his decision to extend this almost virtual pat on the head to Suarez, Tyson said (audio here) :

“I just sort of got on the the Twitter thing and I said hey, um, this is an interesting guy, let me follow him, check him out, see what his journey’s all about. You know, he bit somebody, you know s*** happens, you know what I mean? I’m sure he made amends with his guy, I made amends with Evander, and we go on with our lives.”

It is unclear whether Suarez and Ivanovic have made amends. Suarez says that Ivanovic has accepted his apology but the Guardian claims Ivanovic has rejected it.

But as Tyson says, s*** happens. May be the boxer can tweet Suarez a few tips on how to stop the cannibal jokes.

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Patrice Evra bites back

patriceevra

Patrice Evra is a not a man who forgets. He showed this by biting into a fake arm while celebrating his team’s utter domination of the Premier League.

Manchester United won their 20th top-ranked title after brushing aside relegation threatened Aston Villa 3-0 at Old Trafford.

After the match, Manchester United players and staff celebrated their title clinching win with all the excitement of a yearly free trip around the sun.

To liven things up, a smiling Patrice Evra picked up and pretended to bite a fake severed arm thrown onto the pitch by a fan.

It appeared to be an attempt to mock Liverpool striker Luis Suarez’s who recently  just had to have a bite of Chelsea defender Branislav Ivanovich.

Suarez was infamously banned for eight matches last season after being found guilty of racially abusing Evra.

The French full-back just couldn’t help having a dig at his old foe as he tasted title glory for the fifth time with Manchester United.

Either that or it was a homage to some strange magic that has brought Alex Ferguson and Manchester United their success.

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Football skills of a different kind

When in Rome, do as the Romans do. So when painting footballers, use footballs. Sounds impossible, but that is exactly what Polish artist Andrew Lenard has done. Taking contemporary art a step further, he ditched the paintbrush for footballs and a few litres of black paint, to portray the faces of Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi.

Lenard felt that there was no better way to honor the two top footballers than painting them by kicking footballs doused in paint onto a wall-mounted 2-metre long canvas.

After making the initial marks on the canvas, Lenard picks the ball up to capture the finer details of his subjects.

Although it takes a while to figure out what the football mad artist is painting, he eventually shows that he is no slouch with the football as amazing sketches of the footballers emerge on the canvas.

“I make many types of art and these projects are just my experiments. I make because it’s fun and I like to check out all the new possibilities in art using new media,” says Lenard

Of his unique tribute to the Spanish league stars, Lenard says, “Athletes like Ronaldo and Messi are known worldwide, modern heroes and role models, so it was an obvious choice for me.”

Andrew Lenard’s amazing portrait of Lionel Messi

 

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David Beckham and the transfer window 2013: Signings

mariobecks

The transfer window deadline day has come and gone. As one circus leaves the UK another one comes rushing in to take its place. Mario Balotelli and his antics will henceforth be reported from Milan where the striker has gone on a £17m deal. Fear not though Posh and the kids are back in the UK while David Beckham is just across the channel in Paris plying his trade at Paris Saint Germain.The Parisian club and David Beckham do have the makings of a match made in  heaven. Becks has announced that he will be donating all his PSG wages. So not only is David Beckham back in Europe, he is back with an absolute PR bang. Welcome back Becks, we’ve missed you. Here are the other confirmed transfer deals.

Permanent deals

  • Mario Balotelli:  Manchester City to Milan – £17m, plus £5m add-ons
  • Christopher Samba:  Anzhi Makhachkala to QPR - £12.5m
  • Danny Graham:  Swansea City to Sunderland – £5m
  • John Stones:  Barnsley to Everton – £3m
  • Brek Shea:  FC Dallas to Stoke City – £2.5m
  • Yacouba Sylla:  Clermont Foot to Aston Villa – £2m
  • Kevin Mbabu:  Servette to Newcastle – £1m
  • David Beckham:  Free agent to Paris St-Germain
  • Luciano Becchio:  Leeds United to Norwich City - swap deal
  • Steve Morison:   Norwich City to Leeds United – swap deal
  • Godsway Donyoh:  Right to Dream Academy to Manchester City – undisclosed
  • Alexander Doni:  Liverpool to Botafogo
  • Stephen Warnock:  Aston Villa to Leeds United
  • Nacho Monreal:  Málaga to Arsenal - £8.5m
  • Jack Butland:  Birmingham to Stoke City – £4m
  • Jermaine Jenas:  Tottenham to QPR – undisclosed

Loans

  • Alou Diarra:  West Ham to Stade Rennais
  • Paul Scharner:  Hamburg to Wigan – until end of season
  • Urby Emanuelson:  Milan to Fulham – end of season
  • Stanislav Manolev:  PSV Eindhoven to Fulham – end of season
  • Alejandro Faurlín:  QPR to Palermo – end of season
  • Dani Pacheco:  Liverpool to SD Huesca – end of season
  • Rory Delap:  Stoke to Barnsley – end of season
  • Chris O’Grady:  Sheffield Wednesday to Barnsley – end of season
  • Heurelho Gomes:  Spurs to Hoffenheim – end of season
  • Asa Hall:  Shrewsbury to Aldershot – end of season
  • Ahmed Elmohamady:  Sunderland to Hull – end of season
  • Gedo:  Al Ahly to Hull – end of season
  • Ahmed Fathi:  Al Ahly to Hull – end of season
  • Patrick Bamford:  Chelsea to MK Dons – end of season
  • David Morgan:  Nottingham Forest to Dundee – end of season
  • Anton Robinson:  Huddersfield to Gillingham – end of season
  • Jordan Obita:  Reading to Oldham – one month
  • Godsway Donyoh:  Manchester City to Djurgardens – rest of year
  • Matthew Upson:  Stoke City to Brighton – end of season
  • Eyong Enoh:  Ajax to Fulham – end of season
  • Andros Townsend:  Tottenham to QPR – end of season

Released

  • Louis Saha:  Sunderland
  • Lorenzo Davids:  Bournemouth

Did your club sign that game-changing player?

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Essien ready to play for “daddy”

Michael Essien’s shock deadline-day move to Real Madrid came as a surprise to many, including the man himself. The Ghanaian midfielder however, admits that it was a welcome surprise as the move sees him re-united with the man he refers to as “daddy”— Jose Mourinho.

Essien who is fondly nicknamed ‘The Bison’ because of his powerful physical presence was originally signed by Jose Mourinho for Chelsea in 2005.

Essien describes Mourinho as being “like a father to him” and he proved he meant it by repeatedly calling his manager “daddy” during his press conference.

Reuters reports:

“Daddy (Mourinho) knows me very well, he brought me to Chelsea, and he knows I can play in any position he wants – except goalkeeper.”

Everything went very fast and I was in my hotel room and I had a call from my daddy and he said he would be very happy to have me at the club,” he said.

“I never thought I would end up here. I was focused on Chelsea and I didn’t know that Real Madrid would make a bid for me.

“When Mourinho calls it’s more than enough. All I want to do is play football and when he rang me I said yes immediately.

“When I arrived he was at the airport. We were really happy to see each other and I am really looking forward to starting playing and enjoying the football.”

Essien called Mourinho “daddy” not less than 10 times during the press conference. The twittersphere has been abuzz since with views fluctuating between the endearment being “awesome” to it being “the creepiest thing ever”.

Whatever the view, Essien’s press conference does shed light on perhaps why so many managers have tried but failed at Chelsea since Mourinho.

The Special One with his strange ways, from making the players believe he is their father to praising them in the shower, really had worked a magical spell on the Chelsea players.

Essien believes that he has put a series of serious injuries behind him and is ready to fight for a place in the La Liga side.

“If I wasn’t ready Real Madrid would not have brought me here,” he says.

Real Madrid’s start to the season hasn’t been spectacular. They have taken only one point from their opening two matches and they know that they are going to have to do a lot better if they are to win a second consecutive La Liga tile.

I guess we’ll find out if  “daddy” knows best.

Happy Father’s Day everyone.

If you fancy some mathematical stimulation, here’s the video.

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UEFA Champions League Final: Chelsea’s road to Munich

In less than 5 hours, Chelsea will take on Bayern Munich in one of the most awaited Champions League finals. Both teams are trying to make up for finals past. Bayern Munich lost the 2010 final to Jose Mourinho’s Inter Milan and will want to avoid the heartbreak of losing the final on their home ground. Chelsea, on the other hand,  lost the 2008 Final to English rivals Manchester United after their captain John Terry slipped and missed a penalty. It is the Chelsea owner, Roman Abramovich’s dream to win the Champions League – a competition Chelsea have never won.

The Blues are finishing sixth in the English Premier League and the only way they can qualify to play in the  Champions League year is by winning the Final today. Their road to Munich has been anything but smooth. Here is a look at their remarkable Champions League campaign.

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Bayern Munich would want to avoid the embarrassment of losing a final they are hosting

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